Episode 39: How to Transform Your Messaging for More Responses

Hello. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Six Figure Systems podcast. Today we're going to be talking about how to get people to message you and actually respond this year. So before we get into this, I want to just say I hope you guys have had, if you're listening to this in real time, I hope you've had a phenomenal 2024. As we get into 2025, I wanted this to be a, an episode all about some words to leave behind in this year and words to start using next year. So if you're listening to this, just think about it. Words to stop using and words to start using this year. But as my gift to you, as our parting gift to the year, I wanted to tell you that we, I'm going to send you with this episode, a download with a hundred words not to use and many other things with this episode. So make sure, as you look at this episode, go to the show notes and download the episode, um, worksheet to follow along with this because this is one that you're going to want to keep. And I also want to announce that I am, um, also, as this, um, episode comes, um, out, I just hope you guys are all having a happy holiday because I know this is the time of year that we want to be festive and we want to celebrate. And this episode is also going to be about celebrating you, celebrating your business, and thinking about ways that we can improve your business for not just next year, but for years to come. So today, within this episode, uh, we are going to talk about why your wording isn't converting and getting people to talk to you more. Then we're going to talk about what kind of messaging people actually respond to. And last but not least, we're going to go over some ways to get more people DMing you and responding to you in the new year. So first and foremost, one of the things that this has been a huge thing that I've seen for everyone in the mastermind is that the wording that they're using isn't converting. And this is a huge problem that you want to be solving in the new year. Because what happens, what I see for many people is the reason why your messaging and your wording isn't converting and actually getting people to DM you is. You are going way too high level. What I mean by that is you started this business because you are an expert in the service that you provide. So of course your wording is going to be very high level. So I know that you might have been in this field for years. So especially like if you're a coach, you know about mindset, you might know about energy levels, you might know what manifestation is if that's something, um, that you're into. And so we get really into what I like to lovingly call coach speak. It is almost a language of its own. And what I see happen is you are so invested in what you do. You are an expert. You use these terms every single day that you just kind of forget that the average Joe has no clue what you're talking about. Like, I have seen so literally everyone that is in the Mastermind right now, I've seen it happen at least once where they will use words that, uh, would be appropriate for a relationship when they are actually providing the service, when you're actually coaching people. But what's happening is they're using that before they get into working with people. And so these are words like thoughts, mindset. And I know that many of you guys are like, oh, that's me. Like, as you're listening to this, you're like, oh, that's definitely me. As I am, um, doing my marketing. And we want to leave those words in this year because that messaging is not converting. Your wording is not going to get people to buy because people do not want to buy mindset. They do not want to buy the word mindset. That does not convert people. They don't know what mindset is. And I think that I might be a unique person. And the reason why I can do this and know how to do this pretty well is because for me, I found that within my business. When I started my business, I had actually hired a life coach myself. So I wasn't in the self development world. I was an elementary school teacher and I was just struggling within my relationship. I found out about life coaching through my yoga manager and I had never ever heard of it before. So whenever I'm looking at marketing for my clients and whenever I'm like kind of going over things, I am going through it from that lens. Because the majority of people really don't know what coaching is. I think it's a newer thing, that's a newer mental health way for you to support yourself within the world. But a lot of people don't know what coaching is. So it's not like an interior designer or a wedding planner where it's pretty specific. You are hiring that person for a wedding planning. You, if you're hiring a wedding planner, most likely you have a wedding coming up. So you want to make sure that you're Preparing yourself for that occasion. There's a very specific and clear goal with life coaching. You present a new challenge. You might have many goals that you're talking to your clients about. And you and I both know that coaching can absolutely help them, but they need to understand what they are getting. And no one is going to buy mindset, especially because the closest thing to a life coach that, ah, the majority of the public understands is therapy. And we both know, you and I, listening to this podcast, that therapy and coaching are vastly different. And especially when you're thinking about the pricing of coaching, it makes sense as to why coaching is typically more expensive or at least a little bit more expensive than therapy. Because it's a set deadline. There is a specific objection, objective, not objection. There's a specific objective that the client is looking to sign up for coaching to accomplish. We know that that's very different than therapy. Where there isn't necessarily a set point, there is usually a continued relationship. The sessions are based by base as needed. Whereas with coaching it's very much. You meet every single. We go over the different things. It's very much future focused versus therapy is typically more past focused. But the regular public doesn't know that. I think even therapy has just become normalized within the past decade. So a lot of people, the majority of the world at, uh, this point in time when I'm recording this podcast, don't really know what coaching is. They need your help to bridge the gap between their understanding of mental health support and the goals and struggles that they're facing right now. So the way I like to think about framing the wording that I have for my clients, in a way I want you to start thinking about it, uh, as you listen to this podcast, is I want you to think about two things. Whenever you're saying words like mindset and thoughts, there's a deeper problem there. I, uh, want you to think about, like something they're struggling with at 2pm on a Tuesday. That's the way I like to think about it. And I'll go through and I'll be like, okay, what does m. What is a mindset struggle that people are going through on at 2pm on a Tuesday? Is it that they're struggling with work, life balance that they're really feeling like they just got home, they just got things ready and now they go have to go and pick up the kids? If I was coaching moms, is it that they don't know how to manage their time and they look at 2pm on a Tuesday and they're like, where did the day go? I really don't know what I've accomplished and I need to get more done. Is it that they're stressed? Is that they know they've got a presentation coming up and they're worried about what other people are going to think about them? Is it, uh, maybe they're thinking about the future and they're like, where am I going to be 10 years from now? I'm with someone, I'm not sure if I want to be with this person forever and I'm not sure where I want my life to go. So a lot of times you need to give context to the average person. And when we're thinking about getting more people to message you and respond to you, it starts first with your marketing. You want to be thinking about the actual posts that you're doing on social media, the emails that you're writing, the YouTube videos, the podcasts that you might be doing. I want you to actually go in and I want you to think about, are you giving them context? And this is also something I learned when I was a teacher. Because the human brain needs analogies to form connections and develop understanding. Saying that simply the humans need context. They need like examples in order for them to actually understand what, what the heck you're saying. So one of the things that we learned over time as we've studied human development is that one of the things that's really powerful and one of reasons why Common Core was actually a brilliant, brilliant, um, kind of framework for the education system is within the way that we found that human brains understand things is they need those contexts. And for instance, in math, when we were giving students problems like two plus two equals four, there was no context. There was no really like frame of reference for why that actually even mattered to the kids. So there were some students in the past. And again, why many of us did well in school is because we had rote memorization and we could set it and forget it. And it was really the way a lot of us excelled. If you were someone who did well in school, I was typically one of those students where I would just like memorize something for the test, forget it forever. And that actually doesn't create long term memory unless it's used repeatedly. Which obviously like, why many of us are still competent with math, is if it's used enough, then you actually develop context for it on your own. But in order to create long term memory of, um, quickly learned new things. What we realized is that by providing story problems like Frank has Two tomatoes. He gets two more. How many tomatoes does Frank have? That would give them context to be like, oh, I had potentially seen a tomato. And I can actually see and gather that the two on the piece of paper, that little scribble actually is referring to the number of items, the objects that someone has. And so I know that's a really oversimplified, very, like, just in depth, uh, answer. But the reason why you're not getting people to message you and they're not responding to you is because you're irrelevant. And I'm not saying that, like, in an unkind way. It's. What you're saying is not relevant to them. You haven't created relevance. Therefore, they do not care. They are not really invested in what you have to say. And you have to start. And I. This is not really like saying that, like dumbing down. But you need to go from being an expert to an average person on the street. I want you to translate it for the average Joe, and I want you to make it something that's more relatable in your marketing, because that's really important. You want to actually think about why the wording you're saying, why isn't it converting? Another kind of thing that I think is really important is if you want to get more people to message you, please, for the love of everything good and pure, stop asking such hard questions. I don't know if some of you guys are extremely vulnerable on social spaces, but what I see is that people will go and they will literally put things like, what is your hardest struggle? Comment? What it is. I'd love to hear it. What in the world? Why do you genuinely think that somebody who is scrolling on Instagram is actually going to comment that nobody wants people to dare out? Uh, no one. Not, uh, for me, at least. I don't want to air out my dirty laundry for everyone to see. That is something that is private. That is something that is also. I don't trust people right away. I need to build a relationship first. So if you are just a random person on the Internet asking people to share their deepest struggles, they are not going to do that because vulnerability comes from shared vulnerability and, uh, safety. So they don't feel safe with you to post in a public place a lot of the time. Also, a lot of people, they need it to be something that's more private. So we want to get people to be messaging you those private things that they're struggling with. And that's a far easier way to convert. So what do people actually Respond to? What kind of messaging are they actually going to respond to? You want to ask really simple, small questions. Okay, so you want to ask them something. It's like, have you struggled with this? Yes or no? I'll send you more information in a dm. Um, do you see how they feel safe to say yes or no? Do you see how that creates something? That. That's intrigue. And one of the systems that I use, which is like, um, a software I use, I mean, is something called ManyChat. And I don't know if ManyChat will still be around by the time you listen to this, but it's, I think, an ingenious, um, software system because what it does is it has people comment a word and then once they comment the word, they're sent automatic message. It's called an automation. For those of you that are in the dinosaur age of verbiage, don't judge me. This is where I'm at. I'm like, just learning more about automations. It's actually really funny because a lot of people think that as a systems coach, that I am all about automations and zaps and all this stuff, and I don't know any of it. I am down to simple systems that require Google Docs. I am a Google Doc fiend. But it is very simple. I am not technologically advanced. I am reluctantly learning more. And I will teach you all those things, of course. But for me, not technologically savvy, but ManyChat, y'all, that has been awesome for me because what I do is I converting every single podcast episode, as I've mentioned, into a document. So I'm not only making the podcast something that you can listen to and get value from, but I'm also including a PDF that you can then use. And hopefully I hope that people get helped and make enough money to start working with me or make 100k just by listening to this podcast. So I think it's really valuable. And one of the things that I've learned with manychat is just commenting a word. So for instance, with this one, the word is going to be 100. So they're going to have to comment 100 the number 100. And then they're going to get a PDF of this podcast and the document that goes along with it just by commenting something that they're interested in. But do you notice that I'm not like, what is your biggest struggle with messaging? Do you have an empty inbox? You should tell me that publicly, because no one wants to tell Me that when they're listening to this podcast, they don't want to be like, oh, yeah, I have nobody messaging me. Can't wait for everybody to know that it's not something that soup people are super proud of. Okay, so you want to make sure that you keep that in mind. And a good rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't respond to this publicly with a stranger, don't post it. Have the comment. If you want to do that as a call to action, make it something that is. Do something you would actually respond to. You know what I mean? The other thing is, again, and I teach my clients this when we're talking about managing, um, leads and actually converting people by building relationships that are authentic and not just like, hi, by my stuff. I'm going to keep it pg, because I know some of my former students actually are listening to this podcast, and that's actually hilarious. They're in high school now, which is crazy because I taught them first grade, and it's wild, but it's teaching them stuff. Okay, Keeping it pg. Um, maybe what people do responding to you, you got to build a relationship. You want to make sure that it's authentic, and you want to start with really simple, small questions. You want to keep the messaging in the small talk, which. Fun point, fun point, fun point, fun fact. I tried to combine those two together. Um, there is a way that you go about nurturing people that, again, it's really in depth. But for the sake of this podcast, I want you to know that there are things that are small talk that you need to do in order to have bigger asks as people go on. That's called a soft touch point. Ew. I know. Gross. We don't like that wording. It's one of those things I'm like, I did not make up these words. These are words that have been used for time immemorial. But there's soft touches and hard touch. And I like to say in the middle, it's a medium touch, but you don't want to start out dming people hard touches right away. You don't want to be like, hi, nice to meet you. Buy my stuff. Especially because, as you guys are already learning, you are selling what's called a high ticket offer. Anything over, like, I would say over 100 to $1,000 is a high ticket offer. Okay, so you're usually asking, um, people to sign up for something where they're going to spend thousands of dollars with you. A lot of people, they hear me talking about dming people and Messaging people and they associate that with negative spam that might be coming through. And what the majority of the spam is happening is they're selling something that is a smaller ticket, they're selling a course, they're selling a webinar, they're selling something that's small, um, a smaller price point for sure that messaging works. If you're selling something at a small touch, a smaller price point because people are like, yeah, hey what $7 to me, go for it. But when you have more value attached to it, you have to build a stronger relationship. And that's one of the things that we want to do. So it's not just about spamming people ever. In my philosophy for um, managing leads, when you're nurturing someone, you are building a genuine and authentic relationship. And I want you to hear that it is never ever like you're going to be like, hi, I'm Megan, buy my stuff. Hi, I'm Megan, do a consult with me right now. It usually happens over a progression of time. You only, I only recommend my clients do a hard touch if they someone has either opted into something that is large like a full on webinar, they've given you a full hour of their time. You want to be a responsible, um, business owner and be professional because professionals follow up. Uh, so you want to then message them about doing a consult, but only after you have built a relationship and there have been previous opt ins at a smaller level. So you want to get more people messaging you, you want to make sure that you are creating a relationship, you're creating a softer touch or a smaller closed question for them to opt in on, uh, in a way for you to develop a relationship in a dm. Um, not necessarily publicly because most people aren't going to want to do a public forum. I actually, as you guys know, I actually closed my, my uh, public Facebook group and I started a private one because people don't want to share things publicly. They want it to be private. They want it to be something that is intimate and that's essentially replicating for me what I would do in all the dms. So I think it's really, really important for you guys to do and I really want you to actually have people responding to you in your DMs this year because I have found it's the fastest way to build a relationship again. Once you build that relationship, you're gonna get really good at it. And I still will message people, you guys will see that, but then you're gonna build it up to one to many marketing. And then you'll be able to have a relationship with multiple people and sell to multiple people at a webinar or something like that. But this is a skill set. Anyone who is in any frame of the context, um, where I view pre six figures, 0 to 10k, 10 to 50k or 50 to 100k, you must start getting more messages. You need to get your DMs should not be cr. You need to get more people messaging you and responding to you. And you want to have a really set process for doing that. Okay, so that's the biggest thing that I want to get you from this webinar or from this podcast not webinar is if you want to get more people to respond and work with you, you need to create a, um, translate your expert energy. You want to actually get people responding to you, which means you need to do simple closed questions. And then you also want to build up your relationship in personalized messages or direct messages with people. So they have that know like and trust factor a lot faster. And then they are going to be able to convert to actual paid clients. That's what actually gets people to convert. But the reason why I did this webinar is because there are two amazing clients of mine that have inspired this webinar and they've asked me for this. So this is something that my clients have actively asked me for and they wanted to know what kind of words to start using and what kind of views to stop using. And so I actually went through and I have a list of a hundred words that I am going to be sending to you. And I uh, had them and they disappeared on me. So I'm going to pull them up real quick. But the thing, the main thing that I want you guys to get from this is I am certified from the Life Coach School. I might actually be getting my ICF certification later. But I will also see this in their webinars. And for the love of everything good and pure, if I see something like the model, which is a very in depth thing that I had to go through six months of certification to learn, just casually thrown out in a webinar or in a post or something like that, I'm going to lose my little mind. Okay, so you were stopping doing that in the new year. We're stopping using words, uh, like mindset. We're not going to use thoughts, we're not going to use the word like. I mean emotions is okay, but instead of saying something like the word mindset, I want you to Give context. Why do they need mindset work? We need to give them some sort of example that they can hold on to. So you could say something like, when you're struggling, are you struggling with your mindset issues? Who knows what the flip that is? Nobody knows what that is. Okay, so instead of saying that, I want you to paint me a picture, show me what it looks like to have a mindset issue. Give me some context. So let's say they're extremely experiencing mindset issues because they want a promotion and they're feeling insecure about it. A lot of times people will say that they don't give examples that are that granular, that specific, because they're scared that they could ostracize people. So they keep it really vague. Even human brains like to make connections and generalize and will automatically go through and they are going to actually be able to bridge that gap on their own. But so let's say you give an example of a promotion and you're feeling insecure. Be like, do you ever feel really insecure going up for that next promotion? Here's something that can help. And then you give the context of their mindset issue, but do not start with that. That is for your relationship with them as a coach. You want to keep that as, uh, something that they're going to be paying you so you can explain what a mindset issue is in more than 30 seconds that they're reading your post or especially in a DM, because people will be asking in the DMs, like, what kind of mindset issues are you struggling with? And I'm like, what get. What are they gonna say to that? You want to keep it simple. You want to be like, hey, do you ever feel like you're struggling with imposter syndrome? That is a struggle that they might be experiencing if they're struggling with their confidence. So I want you to really take time and I'm going to give you a list of a hundred of those words, like mindset thoughts. I'm going to give you all those words that I want you to really avoid because they're way too expert language. And I want you to start creating other words, almost like translations of those words for you that you can start using for your post and in your messages in the new year. Because you, my friend, as you're listening to this podcast, I know that you are an amazing business owner just because I know you're investing time and energy already in your betterment of your company just by listening to this. And I want you to think about it. Like yeah, I'm a really good CEO because I'm learning and developing myself as a leader in my industry and I want to get you more people responding you and messaging in this new year. I know it is possible. I know that it's a lot easier than you think it is. And ah, if you need any support with it, feel free to email me uh, and download this worksheet to go along with it. And I can't wait to Hear how your DMs go in the new year.